Slave things to remember!

Tarnsman Of Gor

1. Pg. 46- "The girl I had originally seen had been a slave, and what I had taken to be the jewlery at her throat had been a badge of servitude. Another such badge was a brand concealed by her clothing. The latter marked her as a slave, and the former identified her Master. One might change one's collar, but not one's brand." ... "slaves were not permitted to impart instruction to a Free Man, since it would place Him in their debt, and nothing was owed to a slave."

Tarnsman of Gor

Chapter 1- an odd introduction but also causing many questions: why did the compass act up? was the envelope magnetic and guided him to it via the compass? why was the envlope blue in glow and why did it have to be opened via his thumb? how would it have known it was him? what could have happened if he had decided not to go or if he had ran to the ship for safty and for got to get the handfull of earth soil?

Chapter 2- introduction to Gor, the Priest Kings, and Matthew Cabot but, many questions already and halfway through. what is the Stone that Tarl woke up laying on other than it possibly being just a table? what was the significance of the Colors of what Tarl was changed into? what is the significance of the colors of what the slave wore and of Matthew telling Tarl that he could have her that night? is she one of Matthew's slaves? while reading you see much about pythagoreans and the thought just crossed my mind, is this where the origin of Goreans comes from? at finishing the chapter i come across my last question... Matthew tells Tarl that he was brought to Gor by a Voyage of Acquisition by the Priest Kings. is the same done for slaves to be brought to Gor or are they born and raised on Gor?

Chapter 3- we meet Torm in an odd manner and the first thing i see is with in the first page worth and caused a few questions... How is it that Tarl came to be in His Chamber? and most of all WHY is Torm's Chamber in such a mess? on page 38 Tarl begins learning the Gorean alphabet with Al-Ka. i am assuming Al-Ka is the first letter of the gorean alphabet like A is the first letter of the english alphabet. i also now understand somewhat that Torm is Tarl's teacher along with Matthew Cabot in helping him learn Gorean and a few other sublanguages so that he can go out and live and communicate on Gor. on page 42 we are introduced to the requirements and expectations of each Caste and to the concept of an Ubar, or war chief, being elected in time of crisis. on page 44 we learn of the Free Women being promoted and demoted the same as Free Men though the critera vary from city to city. the ancestors of Free Women Tarl believes came from earth on Voyages of Acquisition. i also learned on pages 45 and 46 that other than the castes there are only 3 statuses that are concivible: slave, outlaw, and Priest-Kings. we learn that a slave could change collars but could never change her brand. we also learn that there are things alot worse that slavery expecially that of a Tower slave. we learn that concern of a slave is out of place. Tarl also learned from another scribe that wasnt Torm that slaves are not permitted to impart instruction to a Free Man because that would Him in their debt and nothing is owed to a slave. from pages 46-49 we see Tarl learning from His instructor in arms how to weild a gorean sword and spear in both hands and also that Older Tarl which is Tarl Cabots instructor doesnt prefer to use the long or cross bows though Tarl in His free time practices to become more proficient with them. lastly we see Tarl learning how to summon and direct a tarn which is a bird that those of the Warrior Caste ride. 

Chapter 4- 

burning soul

My heart
My life
My all
Is a burning soul
 
My love
My world
My pain 
Is a burning soul
 
It burns in flames
Always harmful
Never ending
Always crying
A burning soul
 
My love of my life
Out of reach
Burns my soul
 
My world in pieces 
Burns my soul
 
My pain
It scars me
Is a curse
Has a mark
Burns my soul
 
My soul burns bright
Never ending
Leaving scars for life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The one that loves me
My heart will not make room for
His heart is strong
Mine is weak
 
My heart loves another
His never will
How do I end this pain &
Get rid of the never-ending fire.
 
The one that loves me
His soul is strong
It tries to quench my pain
But my pain never will leave
Till the wolf I want is with me
 
Matt is that wolf
Oh how my heart burns for him
But yet the wolf I have I cant hurt 
For that only burns another scar
A scar of memory and pain
 
Oh wolf come heal my soul
End the burning with in
Love me please before it
Kills me and burns me up
 
This fire never ends my needed wolf’s soul shines
Like a bright saving star
 
He is the light
The cure
I am the dark
The hurt
 
Oh please wolf
Save
My burning soul
 
His light
It shines dim
The cure is far off
He is not near so 
I shall burn till then
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Im trapped in my pain
My hurt
My life
Im trapped in this
Burning soul
 
Im trapped away from my 
Wolf I love 
For the wolf that loves me holds me there
Till he is gone
So my soul burns till then
 
I wish the wolf I love 
Would speak to me 
Oh how I need it
That will weaken the fire
That burns my soul
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister wolf 
She speaks to my soul
 
She soothes the pain
Understands
And is always there
 
She stops the fire from
Leaving scars
But yet she cannot sot the fire itself
 
Only one can do that 
And it will not be stopped till
My beloved white wolf saves me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
He is white with brown spots and stars around his eyes
He loves in secret
But cant tell for fear of 
Friends words
 
My sister wolf is like me 
She is gray as 
The fog that rolls 
Over the rivers
 
The wolf that loves me and is mine for now
Is white with black socks
And a smoky stripe
That runs form the tip of his muzzle to the 
Tip of his tail.
 
These three
Are the keys to my life
 
There is one other wolf
He is like a spirit wolf
Always present 
Wherever I go
He is pure white
With a red scar on his side
And nail holes in his paws
 
All wolves know him.
 
He is Jesus
 
He is the savior
 
The savior 
He can quench the fire and has
But it stays out for a short time
 
I need my white wolf 
I love to seal it
And finish the cure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
When he comes near
He is timid
He holds me close
For a short time 
Before releasing me back
To the wild 
To the one that loves me.
 
His touch 
 
Its soft
Caring
And heals for weeks
 
But then he rejects me
Then the pain starts again
 
I wish he could come
Rescue me 
For the rest of my life
 
I have had many other wolves
They have loved me
But they have past
And left a scar
 
I know if I had
This white wolf
Along with the pure one 
That I have 4 life
I know I would be safe
And cared for
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wolf I love
So comforting
Held me close tonight
The fire purged and calmed
All scars are now healed
 
My head 
Resting on your shoulder
Oh wolf I love
If only I could have
Shared my heart with you tonight
 
Cry in your arms 
Know how you care
And understand
 
Oh white wolf
Please listen to me
Join with the pure wolf
Join and heal my heart forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Gray wolf you exist no more
You ask for something
That you never will receive
 
You thought I would
Let you get another
Then leave me
 
Well boy 
We are no more
Go away
And nevermore
Roam here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
This sister wolf 
Pure at hear
White with red hearts 
Around her eyes
 
When I cry
And hurt
She listens
Another loving sister wolf 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wolf of the stars
The wolf of my heart
He works hard
Twice a day
He roams freely
And today
My burning soul is just glowing ash
For now
Because he has healed it up some
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wolf that loved me
He is gone
Never more causing 
Pain to this heart
 
No scar left
For the day it happened
I was happy
 
The fire
It doesn’t leave marks
Unless im sad
Mad
Or hurt
 
That day none of that
Existed
For the wolf I love was there
 
He embraced me 
Made me whole
For I was
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I only hurt now
For him
 
He is out of 
Reach
 
Need speak to
But all I have
Is a picture?
And a loving heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 wolves exist
In this heart now
 
The wolf I love
And the wolf I wish
To love
 
The wolf I wish to love
He is in a war of
His own love
For another
 
I only wish to love
Him
Because I like him
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wolf I wish to love
Is shiny silver
His heart
Torn practically in 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wolf I love 
Tomorrow
Classes assigned
 
Will I see him? 
Be with him
Speak to him
 
I don’t know…
 
Wont till school starts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This heart of mine 
Is pure
Its hopeful
 
Needs to speak to the
One I love
 
Time will come soon…
 
Till then
Scars are healed by…
Sound of his voice
His touch
Emotions felt…
 
But…
 
My soul
It burns
 
Till…
 
We speak
Are together
And love as one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Destiny…
 
Wolf I love…
 
Hands of Jesus
Yes that destiny is
Fulfilled
 
But…
 
The one I love
When will
That destiny
That love
Be fulfilled
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Destiny…
 
Strength to fight
The fight
Run to win
The race
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is it the race of love?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love for a white wolf
That shines
Out of reach
 
I get close
But
His friends
They are there
At that time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I choke…
 
Can’t talk
 
Please pure wolf 
If this…
 
DESTINY…
 
If it is mine
Make it true
Or give me the 
Strength till
It is finished
In your eyes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
White wolf of my love
Hang in there
I feel your pain
I will be there soon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sister wolf
Soul sister
I will help you
This week is
Rough
 
You can make it
I promise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Silver wolf
Your destiny will come clear
Wed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pain in my life continues
Forever burning my soul
 
The pure wolf comes and has saved 
Me
But,
When will this burning end?
 
Memories come and go
 They are here and burn
Me up when I am mad
Sad or at the end of hope
 
Why must I burn?
Why must I hurt like this?
 
Pure wolf
Why will the burning never end?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PTSD
What is that?
Is it burn always after
A traumatic life.
 
POST
After action
Memories flood back
Always burn for life
 
 
TRAUMATIC
Thing that has huge impact
Makes the fire grow
Leaves scars
 
WHY THE RAPE?
WHY THE TRAUMA?
WHY THE HURT?
The burn 
Why will it not end?
 
STRESS
Life
School
Love
MEMORIES
The fire within
Burning scars
WHY CANT I SURVIVE?
 
DISORDER
Mixture
Life death
Pain numb
Guilt innocence
Fire Healing
 
Why can’t I understand this?
What is wrong with me?
Why will this not heal?
 
PURE WOLF HELP ME BEFORE IT’S TO LATE….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have many wolves
I love
 
But,
 
They are good friends
And want to keep it that way
 
Want to remain single…
 
See me as a sister…
 
Or don’t give a care how I feel.
 
Why can’t I be loved?
Why do I feel so alone?
Where did my life go wrong?
 
Am I always going to be miserable?
Burn forever with out a hope and with out a care for life…………
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~